Today...........

Today I feel very tired and drained out..My Emotions are getting the best of me!
My emotions are crazy.. I'm happy, sad, angry, and tired..

I wish i was "normal" and i didn't have all his fertility problems. I wanted a child ever since Leo and I got married! Here we are 6 1/2 long, years and childless :o(
Happy, that were on the road to start treatment again.. Yippee.. however all the doctor appts, shots and test and medication not looking forward to all of that. I want things simple for me once in my life! However it doesn't seem to go like that for me, everything has to be difficult hard or stressful.
I'm scared, to finally get pregnant and something goes wrong. What will i do with myself? go into a severe depression.. but then there is what if i get pregnant and everything goes perfect and i have a happy and healthy baby!
Is it hard for me to see others pregnant, Yes! Does that mean that I'm not Happy for them? Heck no! I'm extremely happy for others, i don't wish infertility on no one! I hope and wish everyone could have a easy go lucky pregnancy and a healthy baby!
I love my Neice and Nephews and God Children with all my heart and sole! I'm luck to be surrounded with such amazing children, and family members who share there happiness with me!!! I'm blessed to have such support from my Family and Friends.
There is no way i could ever go threw all these emotions and doctors appointments alone!
I have days where everything is perfect i feel good, life is great... Then there are days when i wanna do nothing besides lay in bed, or sit in the bathtub and listen to music and cry.. I like to keep my gard up, i don't like to show my weakness to anyone. I want to be known as the strong one. Well... guess what everyone I'm not strong at all.......... i cry, and get angry, mad , jealous, I do have emotions........

If anyone has any questions on PCOS/ OR thanks they have it!! Do your research and get to the doctors!ESPECIALLY IF YOU WANT A FAMILY DOWN THE ROAD! You might be one of the lucky ones who get pregnant or.........have the long road of fertility treatments...